Monday, October 17, 2011

The Dog is Growing Up

Jackson, our cocker spaniel, continued to grow by leaps and bounds.

Raising a puppy really is like raising a kid. His personality is getting more fully formed and complex. Like a growing kid, he is usually charming and sometimes maddening. But he's making Jeff and me proud.

I just wish I could put Jackson's energy to work.  A week ago, I gave him a five foot long willow tree branch, with several branches offshooting from its main stem. He loves big stuff like that. The willow branch is now whittled to almost nothing.

It's nice that Jackson has reduced the willow branch to a nice manageable size, but I wonder if I can channel that chewing to something more profitable. Maybe we could go into business as a paper shredding company.

Or I could collect all the shavings from his branch chewing and sell it as mulch. Also, there's an electricity generating plant in Burlington that uses wood chips to generate the juice. So I could maybe sell the shavings to them. Jackson could make me a lot of money. I'm the idea guy, he's the workhorse.

Jackson is quite the fashion model and actor, as you can see by the photos in this post. He's got a come-hither look in the first shot, a comic "Who, me?" pose in the second, and sort of demonic branch chewing monster in the third.

He's no one-trick pony, no sir. I think we should get Jackson into the movies. He would be awesome as a comic actor, but he could also be a leading man, and maybe we could also get some sort of horror movie franchise going with him.

I think Jackson could give Brad Pitt, Jim Carrey and Jack Nicholson a run for their money.

Of course, the economy being what it is, it might be hard to get Jackson a job. Maybe he could join the Occupy Wall Street protests.

So far, Wall Street, some conservatives, polticians and others remain rather unimpressed with Occupy Wall Street. The movement might be more successful if we add Jackson to the mix. I mean, who can resist a cute cocker spaniel when it asks for something.

When Jackson asks for food, he looks at you with pleading eyes, as if you're the last hope in the world of saving him from starvation. As if we are starving him. You should see how much Cesar dog food, and doggie biscuits and Goldfish treats he goes through.

So, we just train Jackson to use those same, pleading eyes to ask that the middle class catch an economic break, or whatever the Occupy Wall Street folks are asking for.

Of course, Occupy Wall Street can't pay Jackson for his efforts. After all, many of them have the short end of the economic stick.

Stick, did someone say "stick?" Jackson's getting all excited now. He's ready to play. Somebody better throw him that stick, or he will just die of anticipation.

Maybe Jackson should just run for Congress. Polls show that only 12 percent of the public think Congress is doing a good job. So if we add Jackson to the mix, the ratings could only go up, even if our cocker spaniel can't write legislation, or break a Capital Hill filibuster.

Then again, maybe I'm underestimating Jackson. He's great at interrupting any conversation by displaying his cuteness. So if there's some sort of obnoxious obstructionism going on in Washington, we could just put Jackson in the middle of it, everybody would ooh and ahh at him, and problem solved.

Hey, anything is worth a try, right?

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