Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Four Men, Four Ideas, Possibly Four Bad Ideas

Today, we offer four men with four unique ideas who are pursuing their goals with gusto.

You gotta admire that.

The only questions are whether the ideas are indeed good ones, or are they on to something?

I hate to be negative and shoot down some unique ideas, but I feel like I must critique these guys anyway.

Our first man recently appeared in the Huffington Post as a man holding a sandwich board, advertising for a wealthy woman who he would like to become his bride.
This guy's looking for a wealthy
bride. Think he'll get her?

On the whole, this is a good idea, as you do want to put yourself out there, making as big a pool of people aware that you're available. That's why God created  Match.com, Grindr and swingles bars.

However, I might be working with stereotypes here, but if you're marketing toward a certain demographic, namely wealthy women, you've got make your advertising appeal to them.

I don't know if his sign accomplishes this. I'm guessing these wealthy women would respond to a sign or logo that suggests luxury, but the sign looks battered, as if it was a piece of debris from a tornado.

Though I'm no expert, trust me. Tornado debris does not attract wealthy women, unless they want to donate money to the storm victims.

The lettering on the sign has an messy, unkempt quality to it, so I don't know if that's helping. And his telephone number has obviously changed, with a piece of paper over the original sign displaying the new number. It just seems amateurish.

Our next man's idea is one of kindness. He wanted to take his girlfriend and her two children on a Disney cruise ship. Sounds very nice. And generous. We all like kind, generous people, right?

Here's the problem: At the last minute our guy, Cedrick Royce Swinson, 37, of Charlotte, N.C. discovered   some money he anticipated didn't come through. He apparently said it was in the bank, but for some reason didn't have access to it for withdrawal.

He didn't want to disappoint the girlfriend or her kids, especially since they were already in Florida on the way to the trip, so to come up with the money, he robbed a credit union, according to Florida Today.

The Florida Today article included the perspective of the girlfriend and the kids after the failed bank robbery:

"She was horrified and the children were upset. They watched as we took him into custody. They drove here overnight from Charlotte for a cruise. But they didn't know he was going to do this," said (Satellite Beach Police Cmdr Brad) Hodge, adding that police were searching Swinson's bank records to verify his claim."

Hmm. I wonder if they'll let Swinson watch Disney movies from jail, as sort of a consolation.

This guy's eyes are closed. He tattooed images
of eyes on his eyelids.  
Next we go to Chicago, where a man named Cesar Ruelase is going through extraordinary efforts to demote popular Chicago television meteorologist Tom Skilling to something called "weather guesser."

It seems Ruelase is frustrated by some fairly inaccurate weather forecasts of late. 

I'm not sure what changing Skilling's title would do to improve weather forecasts, but I guess you have to try something. And since weather is inherently unpredictable, I don't thing there's a chance Ruelase will ever get 100 percent accurate forecasts all the time.

And you can bank on the prediction I just made.

Finally, we have a man who's come up with the perfect solution for those of you who fall asleep at work during long, boring meetings, yet the Powers That Be expect you to be fully alert while they drone on with the PowerPoint presentation of the marketing department's annual budget projections

A man has tattooed an image of open eyes on his eyelids. When he closes his eyes, it looks like his eyes are open. Photo is here on this post.

I think I'd rather just fall asleep during the staff meeting and let nature takes it course.

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