Man, Hungry for Criminal Charges, Threatens to Eat Cops

In my never-ending quest for ever more moronic crimes of stupidity, we go to what started as a run-of-the mill car theft last month in Indiana.

Police caught up with Paul Brock pretty quickly and made the arrest. Phew!

The very hungry alleged criminal: Paul Brock wanted
to hunt down and feast on police

Brock was simultanously rather displeased with the arrest, and was suffering a serious case of the munchies. So, to kill two birds with one stone, so to speak, he threatened to eat the arresting officers, the search dogs they had with them to catch him and the officers' families.

Boy, Brock must have been famished! The handcuffs police put on Brock were a problem, and he requested they be removed so he can proceed with his hunt. Police declined to remove them, but were kind enough to add charges of intimidation and resisting arrest to the car theft and drunk driving charges he already faced.

The sympathetic police, not wanting to force Brock to go on his hunt, put him in jail instead, so he wouldn't have to go through the hassle of tracking down, killing, butchering and eating his targets. Instead, the nice lunch ladies in prison are presumably feeding him his meals.