Onion News: Oregon Euthanasia Takes a Teenage Turn

The Onion News Network the nation's most trusted news source, or at least the most satirical, has this, um, gripping report on an Oregon couple's painful decision to euthanize their teenage daughter, who is so brain damaged she can only text, groan and roll her eyes.

Employing every cliche from every network news drama story, the Onion News Network team brings us totally up to date on this highly important issue. Especially to you parents of teens.

I particularly like the shots of the protesters who don't want the girl euthanized. You can catch demonstrators carrying signs that read "Trying on clothes is proof of life" and "Caitlin isn't brain-dead. She's just an idiot."

And you have to feel for Caitlin's mom, who urges viewers in the report to "go home and hug their kids, and be thankful they don't have such a piss poor attitude."

Also, when watching the video, stay on to the end for a glimpse of upcoming news story of utmost importance.