Monday, February 20, 2012

The Televangelist With the, Um, Amazing Hair

Hats off to Jan Crouch for having the world's best hair style.

Of course, you can't put a hat on her hair, so I guess it's hat's off, permanently.

Jan Crouch and her husband Paul are televangelists with the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

Her hair is better than even the most elaborate drag queens I've seen.  So today, in pictures in this post, I'm celebrating Jan Crouch for her epic 'do.

Inquiring minds want to know:  How does she do it? How much product is in it? Has she single-handedly destroyed the ozone layer? Do televangelists have tall hair because it brings them closer to God? Does she have to stay away from careless smokers because her hair is so flamable?  Does somebody have to carry a fire extinguisher and follow her wherever she goes, just in case?

Does anything live in there?  How does she sleep with that hair? What does it look like first thing in the morning? How long does it take to fix up for the day? Is it heavy? If so, is her neck unusually strong? Could she use the hair as a weapon? Has she used it as a weapon, and if so, was she charged with assault with a deadly weapon? Or assault with a hairy weapon?

Can you see her hairdo from space, via satellite? Are the B-52s mad at her for copying their style?

Scroll down for more breathtaking looks at Jan Crouch's daring hair styles.


  1. What's interesting to me is the fact that the woman is not actually smiling. Not in a single picture. She has on what I would call a rictus, but nowhere can I see an authentic smile.
    The guy on the other hand, looks like a 50's ex-vaudeville comedian.

  2. 95% assumption those are wigs, not her real hair.

  3. Amusing and astonishing post, and I intend to check out the Crouch phenomenon as soon as I can. Laughter keeps us young, and from your description, their show promises to shave off several years.

    Might I humbly suggest an edit in the masthead of your blog? It states "Matt of All Trades blog, like the title suggests, is based in Vermont." Actually, the title suggest nothing about where you are based. I suggest you eliminate 'is based in Vermont', since your mention St. Albans at the bottom of the paragraph.

  4. If it is a wig, it can be classified as a weapon!!!

  5. Dollar store dolls have more realistic hair

  6. The hair is about as genuine (and attractive) as her Christianity.

  7. You know what? This lady can at least be upfront and honost about where the money is going when she's crying and pleading for donations. "Oh won't you please! PLEASE make your pledges now! Right now! So that I can have the biggest wigs that money can buy! In every color of God's rainbow!"