Thursday, November 29, 2012

For Your Man, For Christmas: Bacon Shaving Cream

OK, ladies, a public opinion poll for you: Would you be hot for a guy that smells like bacon?

I ask, because there is now shaving cream on the market that smells like bacon, and will make any guy who uses it smell like that, too.
Yes, you can smell like bacon by buying this bacon
aroma shaving cream.

J&D Foods out of Florida  has an, um, stunning array of bacon related products, and this is their latest brainchild. There's limited quantities, so it might have sold out already.

I do see some drawbacks to bacon shaving cream.   Imagine a guy who just used the stuff walking down the street. He'll attract a very hungry pack of dogs in no time, wouldn't he?  Yeah, nothing says "sexy" like a guy being torn apart by the a pack of coyotes that came down from the woods.


J&D Foods, as I mentioned, has other bacon products to buy if bacon shaving cream isn't your thing. They have baconnaise, basically mayonnaise that tastes like bacon, bacon popcorn and bacon lip balm, so you taste bacon if you kiss somebody who uses the balm.

One of the most intriguing of their products is something called "mmmvelopes." They're envelopes, and you taste bacon if you lick them to seal them.

I bet pigs know to stay far, far, far, away from J&D Food's headquarters.

Slightly related fun fact: J&D's initial funding came from the $5,000 one of the owners won on America's Funniest Home Videos of his toddler son hitting a ball with a bat and striking the dad in the face with the ball.

Anyway, I do like bacon, but this bacon enterprise might be going too far. Or maybe I'm just being closed minded. I bet I could be a marketing developer for these guys.

How about having planes strafe garbage dumps with bacon-scented mist. That would reduce complaints from the neighbors.

Maybe spritzers can be attached to iPhones, tablets and laptops, and when you go to certain web sites, the device will give you a give you a little spray of bacon aroma.

Or we can genetically engineer roses, so they smell like bacon instead. How about bacon themed weddings, where the bride throws a bouquet of bacon at the female guests during the reception?

The possibilities are endless. Maybe there is a future in this bacon theme after all. 

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