Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Difficult Decision: Who Is Moron Of The Week: Florida Shooter Or Conrad Hilton III

This really dumb bro in Florida wanted to set up
a shooting range in his yard in the middle of a densely
populated suburb. What could go wrong? Add caption
Joseph Carannante, 21, who lives near St. Petersburg, Florida, likes to target practice with his gun.

Nothing wrong with that. Lots of people do.

Problem is, he wants to do it in a densely populated neighborhood where a lot of kids live. And because of lax NRA-inspired laws, he can.

WFLA-TV says people in the Lakewood Estates neighborhood are outraged at Carannante, and I can't blame them one bit

Caranannte's front yard shooting range is little more than a pile of sand. Like that's going to stop a bullet.

This isn't some remote place with no houses. It's a densely populated suburban neighborhood. Houses and yards are all right next to each other, and Carannante is right in the middle of it.

Talk about carrying Second Amendment rights too far! Yep, Carannante has the right to have a gun and shoot it. But he thinks that his Second Amendment rights trump his neighbors' right to enjoy their own property without fear of getting killed.

Oh, Carannante is so generous! He's offered to let his neighbors know when he's going to shoot, so they can all hide and stay out of the line of fire. So on weekends, when the kids want to play outside, Mom and Dad want to fire up the barbecue, and the new people down the block want to gather on the deck for some afternoon cocktails, they can't.

Because Carannante all but said he expects everybody to hide away while he fires his gun.  Apparently, it's too much work to drive all the way to a shooting range, poor baby.

Like Florida doesn't have a zillion shooting ranges.

"I don't want to have to go to a gun range, when I can just go outside my door," Carannante whined to WFLA.

Hey, it's only a 9 mm gun he's got. What could go wrong?

At the urging of the NRA, Florida has a law barring municipalities from barring gun ranges in people's yards.


"Legislators passed a law in 1987 that declared state statutes superseded the laws of local municipalities when it comes to gun regulations.

Upset that some cities were still toying with local ordinanes, the Legislature passsed another law in 2011 that authorized hefty penalties for violations. Local officials could be removed from office and face personal fines of up to $5,000 for passing gun regulations."

But even the local NRA head thinks Carannante is a bonehead, and disputes the idea the law allos Carannante's stupidity. Says BayNews9 in Florida: 

"An NRA lobbyist in Florida also made a statement about the issue Monday. 'Shooting ranges don't belong in dense residential neighborhoods and, in fact, nothing in the law allows them,'" said Marion Hammer.

 There was some possible good late breaking news this morning on this situation.

Via the Daily Kos, a neighbor reports that a local radio station and a Florida shooting range helped out. Said the neighbor:

"This morning, a popular radioshow at 102.5 "The Bone" called young Mr. Carannante and offered a one year free membership to a gun range, donated by Shooter's World in Tampa.....They convinced the kid to commit to tearing down the pile of pallets and sand."

That's good, but it appears the neighborhood, the radio station and the shooting range all had to offer rewards for stupid Carannante to give up his plan. That's why this world can be sad. They only way we can protect ourselves from awful people is to reward them.

Something ain't right.

Speaking of "Ain't Right," we now offer, from the Washington Post, a simultaneously sad, infuriating and funny account of an airline flight on July 31 on which hotel heir Conrad Hilton III was aboard.  
Pretty faced rich boy bro Conrad Hilton III
caused a HUGE ruckus on a overseas flight
last summer. Makes him sound like
the Worlds Most Obnoxious Person.  

As the Post describes him: "Meet Conrad Hilton III,  younger brother to Paris and some kind of royalty in his own mind, it appears."

Anyway, Conrad Hilton III was Not Pleased with his flight experience aboard the British Airways Flight 269 from London to Los Angeles.

Of course, the FBI and other law enforcement are Not Pleased with Conrad's behavior, and he was in court this week facing federal charges of being an asshole on a plane. A really big dick, actually.

The Washington Post quoted from a conversation Conrad had with the FBI, which is contained in a 17-page indictment against Conrad filed this week in U.S. District Court.

"'I told all of them I could get all of their jobs taken away in less than thirty seconds,' Hilton said, according to the complaint, as he recalled interactions with flight attendants.

He credited a man at the back of the plane with stopping him from killing a flight attendant 'If that man wasn't there, that guy (the flight attendant) would have been #%*&# killed on that flight. A hundred percent I would have killed him.'"

On the bright side, Conrad's narrative to the FBI matches that of flight attendants and passengers on the flight, who also had conversations about the experience with the FBI. No need to sort any "he said, she said," is there.

See? Conrad is so helpful.

It all started roughly a half hour into the 10-hour flight, when attendants started the task of serving drinks to passengers, but Conrad kept standing the aisle, blocking the way and refusing to move.

From the Washington Post

"One flight attendent described Hilton as flying from 'one tirade after another' throughout the flight. He complained that the flight attendants were ignoring him or 'taking the peasants' side.' 

He whined about being upset because he broke up with his girlfriend, one flight attendant said. He bragged that his dad would bail him out of the situation as he had in the past. After all, he's already banned from several other airlines, he told the flight attendants."

'My father will pay this out, he has done it before. Dad paid $300,000 last time,' Hilton allegedly said."

Gawd, I don't care how rich Conrad's dad is, this dude is too expensive. If I were dear old dad, I'd jettison the kid and make him get a job at McDonald's or Walmart. That would teach him.

It went on, says the Washington Post:

"Food and drink service were delayed for more than 40 minutes as flight attendants struggled to deal with Hilton walking up and down the aisles in a rage. Just about every sentence featured the f-word. And Hilton seemed particularly keen on directing his rage against male members of the flight crew.

One flight attendant reported to investigators that Hilton at one point swund at him but missed his face by 'about ten centimeters.' His fist hit the bulkhead instead.

'If you wanna square up to me, bro then bring it on and I will %&*$# fight you,' Hilton allegedly told the flight's co-pilot in another incident."

If I were the co-pilot, I would have let Conrad try to fight. I'm sure everyone who paid good money to be on the flight would have been more than willing to jump in and help.

I think Conrad's pretty boy face could use a good messing up anyway. It would give him character. Lord knows he needs it.

Conrad complained that a male passenger was giving him the "stink eye" which Conrad took to mean either the guy wanted to fight him or have sex with him.

I really, REALLY think the guy wanted to fight you, Conrad. And maybe flush your head down the toilet.

You were already spending too much time in the bathroom anyway, smoking a joint, says the flight crew and FBI. The pot didn't mellow you out much, did it?

Conrad, exhausted from his duties of being an enormous prick, finally fell asleep the crew tied him up with restraints. Conrad later woke up, discovered the restraints and screamed, "I'm goin to $*&@ kill you!"

Yeah, whatever.

If convicted, Conrad faces up to 20 years in prison. But don't worry, he won't spend so much as a minute behind bars. I'm sure daddy will bail him out of this mess, again.

But if I ever find myself on a flight with one Conrad Hilton, III, I won't put up with his bull.

I'm one of those "peasants" who would find something fun and humiliating for him. It would be a blast!

Or better yet, maybe our Florida gun nut can use Conrad Hilton III for target practice instead of the pallets and pile of sand in his yard that he wanted to use.

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