Thursday, November 13, 2014

The Devil Made Me Do It. Time To Try A Monster Energy Drink

"Proof" that Monster Energy drinks are an
effort by Satan to control our minds.  
I've never been interested in trying a product called Monster Energy drinks.  

I'm not cool enough for it frankly. I think it's marketed mostly to shredders on skateboards and snowboards. Although I know almost everybody from everywhere drinks the stuff.

Except the woman in a viral video who explains, in excruciating details, that Monster Energy drinks are just an attempt by the Devil to infiltrate wholesome households.

As you watch the amazing video at the bottom of the post, the woman explains the claw-mark rendering of the "M" on the product's logo is actually "666" written in Hebrew.

Snopes, the reliable, impartial rumor debunking Web site, begs to differ about how "666" is written in Hebrew, but what do they know? You expect me to believe facts over an earnest but crazy lady at a Christian gathering?

And, can you be more obvious that this? The catch phrase for Monster Energy drinks, printed on every can is "Unleash the Beast!"

If this is Satan infiltrating us through cans of energy drink, I don't know why he is being so obvious.

Finally, our Satan/energy drink expert says there's a cross in the letter "O" in the Monster logo. You chug the energy drink and the can, and by the cross turn upside down. "Bottoms up, and the devil laughs," the woman concludes.

Apparently, this Satan/Monster Energy drink link has been known for years, but as a public service, our earnest crazy lady has just explained it to the masses.

I have my own conspiracy theory: I suspect the woman in the video was a plant by Monster Beverage Company to advertise their product and it's working, big time.

First of all, the viral video has been seen at least 6 million times as of Thursday morning. And like me, I bet a bunch of people are tempted (by the devil!) to try a Monster Energy drink just to celebrate the delightful woman in the video.

I've given away some details of the woman's talk, but you HAVE to watch the video. She is so smug, sure of herself, so impressed by the breadth of her wisdom.

I have to think that maybe Satan might have infiltrated her mind.

Watch, and you decide:

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