Saturday, March 29, 2014

It Was Too Quiet On The Home Front

At last report, my husband Jeff was en route home from a week long business trip out of town. He'll be home later today.
Jeff and Jackson enjoy an autumn
day in Vermont last October.  

Thank GAWD!! The house has been too quiet. Worse, because of my work schedule, I had to put Jackson the Cocker Spaniel/Weather Dog in the kennel for a few days.

You'd think I'd enjoy the brief peace and quiet, but no way. Uh-uh.

When I was single, I thought it was perfect, the fact that I lived alone and didn't have to answer to anybody.

Jeff never demands to know where I am, he's easy to live with. But I do always want to check in with him when I'm going somewhere, because it's common courtesy.

And I need to coordinate schedules with him, so we don't get in each other's way.  In other words, I have to be at least minimally considerate.

This past week, I would come and go whenever and not tell anybody. Not that I was doing anything a little sketchy. Mostly, I was working. But still, I miss having to tell somebody I have to leave for work at such and such a time.

I work in a home office for a good part of my days. At home, I just barely get on a roll writing something, and it always seems just then Jackson bounces into the office needing to go outside, needing to play, needing to eat, needing for me to go to the window and help him bark at the birds flitting around out there.

This week, none of that. No Jackson wanting to play when I need to work (and I would rather be playing with him. That guy is a temptster no question)

I used to enjoy the silence, when I was single, of no other voices in the house. Now I totally miss the little noises Jeff makes. His chortle when he's laughing at a bad sitcom, or when he starts singing (quite well!) along to Josh Groban as he's working at his drafting table downstairs.

At night, he'll snore a little bit. It'll stir me awake, and I'll listen for a couple minutes before falling back asleep. His snore is strangely comforting.

This past week, no snoring.  And that made me stay awake at night, rather than get any extra sleep, because I missed the snore, missed Jeff.

Yeah, marriage changes you all right. It's a responsibility, being married. And it's a lesser, but still big and real responsibility, to have a dog.

No, I take that back.

The word is not responsibility, but love. Love is why we ache when our partner, even our dog is gone for a few days. It's why the ache is there when they're gone,  even when you know that your husband and the dog are perfectly safe and happy and will be home in a few days and everything will be back to normal.

That's my new normal.  The new normal that officially arrived on August 26, 2012, the day we got married. A new normal I didn't think I'd ever achieve. Or even want. And now I crave it more than anything.

Welcome home, Jeff and Jackson!   I missed you. I'm so glad you're back. Make some noise for me, OK?

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