Sunday, January 6, 2013

Money: Another Reason Why I'm Happy I'm Not in the Dating Pool

I'm so glad I'm married already and don't need to date to find a mate.

That's true now so more than ever, given the higher and higher hurdles people make their prospective partners clear before the relationship goes ahead.

On example came last month in a New York Times article describing how some people are demanding credit scores from would-be suitors, often on first dates.

Romance, Schmomance. I don't care if you're a hottie. Are you financially solvent?"

"Credit scores are like the dating equivalent of a sexually transmitted disease test," the Times quoted Manisha Thakor, who heads MoneyZen Wealth Management, a financial advisory firm.

I suppose asking about credit scores is useful, especially if the relationship escalates into love, living together, marriage. You'd hate to be tied to bad credit as you buy a home, furnishings, whatever.

Said the Times:

Dating someone with poor credit can have real implications. Banks remain wary of making loans to borrowers with tarnished scores, typically 660 and below; the best scores range from 800 to 850, and scores above 750 are considered good. A low score could quash dreams of buying a house, and result in steep interest rates, up to 29 percent, for credit cards, car financing and other unsecured loans.

All that might be true, but must dating, a first date, even, be completely a job interview, or a loan application meeting? If the maybe future partner has the goods in other departments, and is honest, which you'd want anyway, can't you work out the finances at a later date?  Get the money straightened out before marriage, yes, but a week into the relationship?

It's also a turnoff to have someone demand full financial disclosure minutes into an initial date. Yes, you don't want to waste your time with someone who is a financial train wreck, so you might want to get out early. But I'd also not want to waste my time with someone who sounds as if he or she is in it for the money.

What's next? Full interviews by an investigative journalist with any and all family members, past acquaintences, first grade teachers, kindergarten friends and strangers who encountered you in the street in 1979 to get the dirt on a would-be date?

Like I said, thank God I'm already married. Finding a mate sounds like it's too much work, too business like.

My husband Jeff and I disagree on money sometimes. But we always work it out quickly. So I'll keep the great mate I've got, and leave the financial negotiations to or something.  thanks. 

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