Saturday, January 19, 2013

Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll and Priests and..

You know you're in big, big trouble when you are the subject of a headline like the following:

"Cross Dressing Show Tunes Loving Priest Busted For Selling Meth and Laundering Money Through His Sex Shop."

Leave it to Gawker to spell it out nicely in one headline.
This former priest became quite an entrepreneur
before being stopped by police

Anyway, you really have to hand it to the priest in question, Kevin Wallin. He kept himself very, very busy.

Who knew the life of a priest could be so complicated, so exciting, so scary, so pathetic?

The Web site gets into many more details that Gawker, and helpfully provides the 41 page police affidavit that details all the gory details of Wallin's sins. And they are gory.

Even before the meth bust, and while Wallin was still officially a priest, people were noticing some odd stuff: Says CTPost:

"While pastor at St. Augustine's, sources said he often disappeared for days at a time; and rectory personnel became concerned and notified diocese officials when Wallin, sometimes dressed as a woman, would entertain odd-looking men, some who were also dressed in women's clothing and engaging in sex acts. In addition, diocese officials found bizarre sex toys in Wallin's residence, the sources said."

Well, there could have been a good explanation for this, right? Priests kind of wear dresses. And maybe he was ministering to these "odd-looking men" trying to get them to give up their wicked ways. Wallin probably also confiscated the sex toys.

Uh, no? Don't buy it? Yeah.

Wallin left the diocese in 2011 for "health reasons"  Kind of like people who resign positions to "spend more time with my family."  Both are obvious euphemisms for "I mucked up and got canned"

In any event, the cops were on to him, too. According to CTPost:

"Beginning in late September, 2012, an undercover officer with the Statewide Narcotics Task Force began buying meth from Wallin. During one of their meetings in Wallin's Waterbury apartment - where he was later arrested -- the affidavit states the undercover officer saw a gallon-size plastic bag filled with crystal meth."

Oh, so Wallin was the Costco of meth dealers. Buy in bulk! Save money!!

Hey, the business model seemed to work. Authorities say Wallin managed to move $9,000 worth of meth a week. That's brisk business! Bet it pays more than being a priest!

Wallin had plenty of time for other fun, apparently. Before he left the priesthood, he'd head off to New York to see Broadway shows in New York with N.Y. Cardinal Edward Egan.

After he left the priesthood, he opened up an adult book store where he sold XXX DVDs and sex toys, and laundered money from the sex business, police said.

Wow, you have to admire this American entrepreneur!  From his modest beginnings as a pirest, he became a Connecticut business tycoon. The American dream realized! It's so inspiring!

Still, it's quite a career change for a guy who at least supposedly spent his life being celebate, celebrating God and tending to the poor and the spiritually needed.

I guess there's no profit in that.

Wallin's evolution was a bit much for parishoners. The CTpost quoted one parishoner this way:

"I can't fathom it," said 77 year old Therese Ruppert, a parishioner at the Church of St. Peter in Danbury, whre Wallin was pastor from 1996 to 2002. "He was so spirtual. His sermons were wonderful. He had such knowledge of theology."

I guess he learned a new theology in later years.

I'm goofing on this guy, of course, which is mean, especially since there seemed to be a terrible meth addiction involved.

So I hope a new chapter opens up in Wallin's life. One that isn't so... complicated.

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