Friday, September 6, 2013

Twerking is SO Over, And I Have All the Proof You Need

Unfortunately, I fear the word "Twerk" is going to be the word of the year for 2013.
A still from the video that (I hope) signals the
end of the twerking fad, thank Gawd!  

It has jumped the shark on so many levels that I think anyone who now dares to twerk in public is going to be forever branded as the ultimate moron.

For the three people in the world who still don't know what twerking is, it's bending over and bouncing your butt to the music.

It's supposed to be sexy, I guess, but in my mind twerking is as sexy as an epileptic seizure and looks like one, too.

But what do I know?

The world entered Peak Twerk a couple weeks back during the Great Miley Cyrus Twerking Crisis of 2013, when the former Hannah Montana twerked her way into history during the Video Music Awards show.

She should be so excited. It now appears her biggest claim to fame, the first sentence in her some-day obituary, will be the day Miley did a Twerk heard around the world.

A video out this week, that I suspect is a set up and wasn't a pure accident, brings us the ultimate low in twerking. It was purportedly done by  young woman twerking on video to turn her boyfriend on.

Note to her boyfriend: Run, man, run! Don't look back!  A girl twerking like that, for the "benefit" of viewers around the nation is no good. You'd probably do better with a depressed heroin addict. It's that bad.

Anyway, the young woman twerks against a door. (Don't ask), and somebody opens the door, the twerking woman falls over onto a table full of candles and catches fire.

If only all twerkers could meet a similar fate.

If the video is real, why is the fiery young twerking victim putting it out there for the world to see? I guess hits on YouTube, and the money it generates, makes worldwide public humiliation worth it.

Again, the video is probably just a comedy sketch, but it's an important milestone: Twerking is now officially passe. On to the next stupid craze. For the record, here's the girl twerking, catching fire video, if you can stand it:

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