Wednesday, October 10, 2012

I Could Star in A Late Night Infomercial

Routine tasks usually end badly for me. When I put down bottom heavy bottles on a flat surface so their contents won't spill, they still end up upside down, causing flash floods of whatever was in the bottles.

When I dig holes, they get smaller. I trip over everything. Things fly out of drawers when I open them. I can't open simple packages. My shirt is on inside out.

So I could really relate to a series of awesome GIFs on Buzzfeed, which shows the people on those late night infomercials who struggle with everything, that is before they buy the miracle product the infomercial is shilling.

These people trip over hoses in their backyard. Shelves collapse around them. They have hissy fits as things tumble out of closets. Their lives are one big bad slapstick comedy.

For a better look at what Buzzfeed was talking about, watch this video: It's kind of a documentary on my life:

But there's hope for people like that! Late night infomercials solve all of their problems! The only problem is, none of the hapless people in the world, like myself can stay up late and watch these infomercials. We're too exhausted from trying to manage the hell of getting through the day without destroying everything in our paths.

It's a wonder any of these items on late night infomercials get sold. It doesn't help that some of them don't work and break easily. Especially in the clumsy hands of the people that need the products in the first place.

Maybe I could win fame and fortune as the clumsy person in these infomercials. Then I can afford the products.

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