Monday, February 4, 2013

Kai: The Best Television News Crime Witness Interview EVER!

The news item was weird and scary enough: The man in Fresno, California decided he was Jesus, drove his vehicle into a utility repair guy, pinning him between two vehicles, then attacked a woman and almost squeezed her to death.

But there was quite a hero in this incident. The "Jesus" guy had earlier picked up a hitchhiker. The hitchhiker, named Kai,  grabbed a hatchet when things began to unfold and subdued the bad guy with it.
Kai: The best television news eyewitness ever

Our Jesus, actually named Simmons McBride, 54, of Tacoma, Wash. was not fatally injured actually, not bad at all, and faces attempted murder charges

All well and good, but our hitchhiker Kai turns out to be, by far, the best television news interview subject ever.

Lots of swear words involved, but the quotes are tantilizing enough. On describing why he grabbed the hatchet to stop what would have become a murder spree, Kai says his thought process was, "If you're calling yourself Jesus, I'll be the fXXXing Antichrist.

How intense was the experience? Kai, a surfer, apparently, answered: "Holy sxxt. It was like the biggest wave I ever surfed."

What was it like hitting the guy in the head with a hatchet ("Jesus" survived, by the way) "I fXXXing ran up behind him and went, smash, SMASH, SUH-MASH!!!!!!"

Was the guy crazy, do you think, Kai? "Dude, that guy was fXXXng cocked out man. He was howling."

Kai outdoes every single wild interview subject that's ever crossed the airwaves. He's much better than the crazy fire witness lady, and even Antoine Dodson, the now very famous guy who was on TV explaining how he stopped an attack on  his sister. (Dodson's got 50 million hits on YouTube. Kai will give him a run for his money eventually.)

You have to watch all this entire nearly six minute video. (NSFW. Swear words galore.) It will change your life! Or make you laugh and be amazed until you drop. I know I was so, so floored. And I absolutely love Kai. I wish there were more people like him.

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