Sunday, February 17, 2013

Meteor Flashes on Russian Dash Cam Craziness

A lot of people are talking about how many dash cams caught the drama of that meteor roaring over, and exploding over Russia last week.

 What seems to be a typical view from a Russian dash cam.
As noted in many media outlets, many Russians have dash cams in their cars because police are corrupt, insurance scams are rampant, so people need proof of what really happened during car crashes.

The dash cams have created a cottage industry of YouTube compilation videos of Russian crashes, road rage, road weirdness and general chaos on the country's highways.

You can see an excellent sample of one of these compilations at the bottom of this post.

Although it seems like Vermont, where I live, is full of people who don't know how to drive or are too busy yammering and texting on their cell phones behind the wheel to actually drive, it's much, much worse in Russia.

Here are some of the conclusions I've drawn from watching some of these dash cam videos from Russia:

1. People in Russia drive really, really fast. They especially put the pedal to the metal when it's snowing out and the roads are particularly icy.

2. Russian truck drivers are especially incompetent. If you see a truck in Russia, you know it will soon tip over, plow into a row of cars, take down the power lines at the edge of the highway, run over people or otherwise cause far more chaos than that meteor did last week.

Another typical view from a  Russian dash cam.
3. If you want to start a successful tire mounting and sales business, pack your bags and move to Russia. Tires are continuously coming off vehicles on the highways. Maybe Russians need to know what lug nuts are and what their function is.

4. Russians do not let little problems get in their way. The tire fell off? Keep driving. The tractor rolled over? Tip the smashed rig right side up and keep driving, blocking traffic on the freeway all the while. The guy in front of you cut you off? Just open fire on him with your trusty Glock 9mm.

5. Speaking of Glocks, Russian drivers are amazingly short tempered. The slightest provocation leads to major fist fights or armed conflict. You have been warned.

6. Russian highways are cluttered with an amazing array of hazards, including but not limited to goats, horses, helicopters, jets, falling trees, sparking power lines, helicopters, military surplus parts, crashing planes, dead bodies, live bodies and the aformentioned armed conflicts.

7. Traffic signals in Russia are just pretty red and green lights, they don't actually signal anything, at least in the minds of Russian motorists.

8. Russia surely has incredibly talented stage, screen and television actors, but the swindlers who pretend to get hit by cars are hacks, though melodramatic ones. Many dash cams show the cars coming to a complete stop, followed by a person slumping dramatically on the hood of the car, then bouncing off, and then writhing in "agony"  No Oscars for this bunch.

Here's a 13-minute compilation of Russian dash cam footage. It's worth watching every second of it, and thanking your lucky stars you don't have to drive there.

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